I had a strange dream one night which shook my convictions about the perception of happiness. It was a wonderful dream, I was happy, I laughed a lot and remained in an elevated state the whole time. I knew nothing was true but I enjoyed seeing myself happy. Like a little girl, I wanted the dream to last forever. I didn't want to open my eyes. And when the day broke, I thought I would continue to remain in that cheerful mood. But I found myself to be irritated and annoyed, more than the usual days. It was a strange feeling. I kept visiting the dream in my mind, a hundred times. I tried to believe that was the truth and denied what was happening around me (inspiration from movie inception), it wasn't so.
I tried to recreate the same events as in the dream in my real world, it wasn't so. And this disappointed me and added to my annoyance. After a while I began to diagnose the trouble at hand. Why can't I be happy like I was in my dream? What brings me happiness? Why am I not happy now? I analyzed the various events which brought me happiness and the ones which angered or irritated me. First, they were all confusing but then there was a definite pattern of happiness and a definite pattern for sadness. To name a few:I am overjoyed when
- I am around the people I love
- I have an exhilarating conversation with interesting people
- My efforts are recognized/encouraged
- Something does not work according to MY plan
- I fail (at anything)
- I get blamed for somebody's mistake
I have taken my first step towards happiness. I have begun a search for the fountain of happiness... I know it's somewhere within me and not in some dream I saw/book I read/words I heard. It's not easy but one day I will succeed.